i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
