Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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