uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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