I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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