The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize