i don't like sucking hair
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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