So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
