when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
