i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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