The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
