She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
