And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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