he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
