We won't sleep together?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
