just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
