I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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