you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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