dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
