I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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