He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
