Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
