They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
