I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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