Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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