Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
