please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
