He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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