Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex. http://tfl.nu/nznj
  Replies (27) Good night (2470) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs. http://tfl.nu/cv5b
  Replies (5) Good night (3516) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4361) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr
  Replies (44) Good night (1330) Bad night (5381)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6504) Bad night (12206)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk
  Replies (38) Good night (6908) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough http://tfl.nu/7sph
  Replies (1) Good night (2394) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages. http://tfl.nu/po3d
  Replies (12) Good night (3309) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom http://tfl.nu/1svl
  Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (2066)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home. http://tfl.nu/79vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1471) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc
  Replies (5) Good night (1592) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy http://tfl.nu/k1j3
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night? http://tfl.nu/ukhn
  Replies (6) Good night (712) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that. http://tfl.nu/gtr5
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu
  Replies (5) Good night (352) Bad night (401)

Randomize