Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're right.

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  (414): so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment. (262): you're right. http://tfl.nu/ypcs
  Replies (18) Good night (2475) Bad night (918)
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  (650): View more from California

  i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.

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  (650): i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/726d
  Replies (44) Good night (1257) Bad night (3954)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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  (330): Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt. http://tfl.nu/yvoh
  Replies (10) Good night (1777) Bad night (4234)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him

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  (608): He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him http://tfl.nu/0tzl
  Replies (6) Good night (1640) Bad night (2310)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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  (250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1
  Replies (2) Good night (1841) Bad night (776)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2886) Bad night (602)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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  (641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight? (563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World http://tfl.nu/s9cv
  Replies (4) Good night (1807) Bad night (1234)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."

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  (859): I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital." http://tfl.nu/3xux
  Replies (7) Good night (4389) Bad night (774)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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  (937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev
  Replies (7) Good night (2831) Bad night (754)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.

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  (404): The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples. http://tfl.nu/02p9
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (471)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You left wolverine marks

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm somewhere between sorry and proud

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  (910): You left wolverine marks (1-910): I'm somewhere between sorry and proud http://tfl.nu/d8w1
  Replies (2) Good night (1515) Bad night (409)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
  Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (273)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.

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  (405): There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home. http://tfl.nu/1q6j
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (234)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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  (309): There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/encj
  Replies (6) Good night (825) Bad night (329)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

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  (330): I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse http://tfl.nu/h2il
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (317)

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