What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So much Jack, so little girl.