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• (212): View more from New York

  Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  hah, sarcasm, classic

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you get your crutches off the street sign?

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (212): View more from New York

  She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus

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