the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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