just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus