I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.