Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.