She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.