Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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