Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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