Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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