If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
