she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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