i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
