didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
