don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
