then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
