Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
