idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
