I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
