I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
