I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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