my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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