ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
