We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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