You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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