The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
