so that wasnt chicken after all
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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