Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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