I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
