I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
