ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
