I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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