just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she peed on how many people?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
