its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
