Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize