I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
