I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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