We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
