now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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