I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize