sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
