Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
