I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
