she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We got so high we made milksteak
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
