I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
